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cryin in the garage (the early months)

by zack.ry

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1.
(don't) stay null 02:47
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thought we’d maximized blaseball, prepared for a grand slam heard the umpires scream while the void burst from its dam but our celebration was cut brief turns out necromancy isn’t cheap now we’re left worried we’ll lose players while we’re asleep there’s no rules we can know for sure the book’s still unclear there’s no sure way forward here the ground is shaking under us we’re feeling unstable guess that happens when players don’t stay null now we live in a hell of our own creation our mayor is beaming more than hendricks richardson so we fucked around and blasphemed a bit now the internet league‘s all scared of getting hit could have used a financial advisor before this debt there’s no rules we can know for sure the book’s still unclear there’s no sure way forward here the ground is shaking under us we’re feeling unstable guess that happens when players don’t stay null every game now has us bracing for the day’s incineration will this virus keep erasing our brightest no one said that resurrection would mean that the dead would come back hungry once they’ve fed we’ve lost too many but they’re all credits to their teams but there’s no rules we can know for sure the book’s still unclear there’s no sure way forward here the ground is shaking under us we’re feeling unstable guess that happens when players don’t null
2.
lose you 04:06
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we almost made it to the end of the season without our curse comin to bite us in our rear end day 95 had come and gone and we were coastin but then boyfriend was collected by the void ocean and jaylen cried because she knew there was now a fine for our team too and she said tot clark oh tot clark i don’t wanna lose you i don’t wanna lose you oh tot clark oh tot clark this shouldn’t be on you i don’t wanna lose you things managed to turn out fine for our boy in wraps we made it to the semifinals and we felt on track but five hit batters on the wings left us nervous we watched in horror as mike wheeler became a furnace as ashes drifted onto his cheek malik’s fur stood on its end as jaylen screamed and she wailed cat boy oh cat boy i don’t wanna lose you i don’t wanna lose you oh cat boy oh cat boy this shouldn’t be on you i don’t wanna lose you and the fans wailed out we don’t know how much more that we can take but they don’t know nothin bout the depths to which someone can go through pain cause she still steps up and tries her best while her undead heart breaks inside her chest and she says tot clark oh tot clark i don’t wanna lose you i don’t wanna lose you oh cat boy oh cat boy i don’t wanna lose you i don’t wanna lose you i’m sorry everybody this shouldn’t be on you i don’t wanna lose you i’m sorry i’m so sorry i don’t wanna lose you i don’t wanna lose you
3.
together we're gonna make this 03:01
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sun is hiding, shadows shining from up above eyes are shifting, can’t be missing when the umps seek blood cause we now know they aren’t beyond the flames they hold we’re stealing back our home lives are flickerin, gods are pickin their fights with us rules left unsaid so they can pretend their wrath is just but we outnumber them so let thunder rain down we’ll kick them out of this ground no hall can keep us from our friends no monitor can make this end inning seven, we are stretchin prepared to pitch threats are comin, but our bats are thrummin with intent to hit our finest lineup will define the com- ing trials but they’ll do it with smiles the other side of this will find us together we’re gonna make this better
4.
between violences (a late-night turnipfingers speculative) 05:49
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violence never seemed to mean the dirty word people claimed it to be until i saw her take the mound her smile spreading fear around with bat in hand i took my stance refusing any backward glance i stared her down in pure defiance inviting the incoming violence and she struck me now i’m switching in and out of my daydreams all the nightmares that i’ve tried to keep in- side me are pushing their way outside and the voices of the ones she’s taken happily ring joyless in my head as i miss my swing guess my choice is somewhere between my violent past and my new team the dugout calls me over so i turn away from hell closing my eyes the demons there aren’t half as bad as the idol they brought back but i feel assurance behind me a whisper of of violence, supportive and guiding and from up close that smile of fear away from the fans gives way to tears and she struck me now i’m switching in and out of my daydreams all the nightmares that i’ve tried to keep in- side me are pushing their way outside and the faces of the ones she took unwittingly come racing in my head as i see her crumble guess my choice is somewhere between my violent past and my new team she always steps out on the field and shows the whole world that she feels okay when she’s not okay her team’s the only ones who get to see she’s breaking apart from all the pain she brings was this worth it is she worth it now she’s struck me and she’s switching in and out of my daydreams all the nightmares that i’ve fought to keep in- side me are melting when i look into her eyes and the fire of the ones she’s lost so brutally burns brighter in my heart as i see her fight guess my choice is somewhere between my violent past and my new team and she’s struck me now she’s switching in and out of her home team and she’s staring down the god who’s cost her everything and refusing to back down and the echoes of the ones that we’ve all lost begin to ring low through the mic as she disappears guess my choice is somewhere between my violent past and the null team
5.
we may not look like much 03:46
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bet you think you’re tough a big old god come down from up high think we got it rough but you miss a lot when you’re way up in the sky cause we’ve been makin deals with the devil you can’t see you wanna play with idols try a taste of equity we may not look like much we may start from nothing but we got way more spirit than a nut who thinks he’s god you don’t know anything bout the mess you’ve started now best get your weapons ready cause we are tearing down your walls tell us to submit you’re not the only one who gets to make plans no we won’t remit you’re the one who’ll pay for the blood on your hands you’ve had a decent run we’ll concede that much to you but you’re blocking out the sun and we’re tired of the view (x3) we may not look like much we may start from nothing but we got way more spirit than a nut who thinks he’s god you don’t know anything bout the mess you’ve started now best get your weapons ready cause we are tearing down your walls
6.
alone in the light 06:56
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i just wanna walk away leave it all behind somehow but the glare of a backdraft forms an afterimage now the vision of a burning field is something i could do without but it’s the fall of my friend that i cannot disavow i just want to walk away ease the weight off me somehow but the glare of a backdraft clouds my judgement now the seasons come and go so quick seems like i’m the one that’s slowing down things are bigger than when i came in and i’m smaller for the crowd i just want to walk away try to just move on somehow but the glare of a backdraft haunts my vision now these days it’s easier to sleep but some nights memories come back turns out no amount of stars are bright enough to cleanse your past i’m alone in the light i’m running home
7.
the return, part 2 05:04
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we’re back waking up heading out to see the light of a new sun feels like it’s been years still the memories of loss and pain are ringing in my ears we’re not normally the ones whose names you see but we’re here we’re here we’ll place our bets on you we’re gonna help you see this through and though we may be far away you always know that come day one or ninety nine the finals or in party time we’ll ride the vibes no matter what and if tomorrow brings the end of all we’ve seen raising hell or tearing down peace we’re gonna be there things sure look different now new stadiums are going up houses of cards built to fall down time seems to slow a bit we’re getting breaks but they’re unpaid just quick enough to grab a bag of chips but even in the stress, my friends if you need them, we’ve got helping hands and we’re here we’re here we’ll place our bets on you we’re gonna help you see this through and though we may be far away you always know that come day one or ninety nine the finals or in party time we’ll ride the vibes no matter what and if tomorrow brings the end of all we’ve seen raising hell or tearing down peace we’re gonna be there we know we’re not the ones who have to fear the breaking dawn our sky is slowly burning but the tides are surely turning and we promise you this much that we will face down any god who still wants to tear us down we’ll be beside you rushing up the mound we’ll place our bets on you we’re gonna help you see this through and though we may be far away you always know that come day one or ninety nine the finals or in party time we’ll ride the vibes no matter what and if tomorrow brings the end of all we’ve seen raising hell or tearing down peace pockets full or begging for seeds you can know we’ll always be we’re gonna be there
8.
lure them all away 04:20
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we all know what’s coming on the wind nobody can stop the tide from coming in the sharks in the water are swimming up for blood but who they’re after is yet to be seen maybe i can be the chum who takes one for the team i’ll be the best they’ve ever seen i’m gonna lure them all away i’ll be the hero of the day you brought me back for god knows what i still can’t figure out if i’m meant for this story or if i should find another one i know i’m weighing down the team and now there’s water to our knees and i attract attention but the kind that we don’t need and the only way that’s forward is the one where i leave everyone i meet gets a piece of me they meet a reflection of the people they’ve already seen i’ve gotten used to the idea of being perceived in a way that takes more than what i receive in return, so now i’m the chum who takes one for the team i’ll be the best they’ve ever seen i’m gonna lure them all away i’ll be the hero of the day you brought me back for god knows what i still can’t figure out if i’m meant for this story or if i should find another one i know i’m weighing down the team and now there’s water to our knees and i attract attention but the kind that we don’t need and the only way that’s forward is the one where i leave i hear new york might have work for me the empire state might have the city of my dreams i’m gonna lure them all away i’ll be the hero of the day you brought me back for god knows what i’m gonna lure them all away i’ll be the hero of the day you brought me back for god knows what i still can’t figure out if i’m meant for this story or if i should find another one i know i’m weighing down the team and now there’s water to our knees and i attract attention but the kind that we don’t need and the only way that’s forward is the one where i leave

about

i've been making music with the garages for just over nine months now, and in that amount of time i have caught myself off guard with just how much i've made. this is a collection of some of my favorites, a small time capsule of a period that has felt both infinitely long and dizzyingly brief. in the midst of a pandemic that has felt isolating and destabilizing, making music with the garages has provided me community and a sense of purpose, helping me to rekindle a passion for music and by god, they've made me better even if it took dragging me behind them. it's pretty wild to look back and see that progress, and i can't wait to see what another nine months will do.

credits

released May 21, 2021

all songs by zack.ry, aside from:

we may not look like much, co-written with and produced by tegan eden (@TeganEden), and beat by andrea "a52" (quadraticgoblinrush.bandcamp.com)

alone in the light, co-written with and produced by azure (azuret.bandcamp.com)

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zack.ry Washington, D.C.

what's up, i'm zack (he/they) and i make music in my bedroom where the walls are very thin and i'm sure i annoy my neighbors :) thanks for stopping by!

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